Authentic Life in Sausalito California

Let's say our goal was to find our own authenticity. That would be without cultural expectations.

For example, I am an easy living lover. I like to work, but I like it to be in a beautiful setting and with people I love and respect.

When I think of hanging the clothes or fabrics on the line, I feel authentic. I think of clean fresh air, sunshine, lines that roll away ( who thought of that?), clothespins, (a genius invention), and endless afternoons making art. This was my past. Now I have a helper to hang up the clothes. He is 3 and he finally can work the clothespin. He likes to put them on the bottom of the sock so they dangle down in all funny directions.

My authenticity seems to register higher when being with a little child than struggling to solve problems, higher when dancing than talking, much higher when laughing than feeling scared.

I feel I am touching a texture under my former skin. Here it is timeless. It is what is described in the vedic teachings, in Tibetan Buddhism. It is the truth, the secret. I am free to be a person I always wanted to be -- someone who could have the time to watch a ladybug, or play badminton on a tennis court, or shake petals from a fruit tree on our heads. These may seem small to you, but time expands in these days and they are the natural way, the rigpa, the Eden, heaven itself.

Boy am I grateful!

angel island with no covers

These are not in order. But bear with me. At least I got them uploaded and I just lost the former evening's blog. I liked it too. It just diappeared and they gave me a number to use if I wanted to report it. But what good would that be if I couldn't get it back anyway? So I start all over.

Here is my first photo upload (Angel Island) and it is one of the daily portraits of Angel that I have taken at dawn. Isn't she beautiful?? So even though I was just reading the "next blog" which is an young asian girl's blog called candykanekisses or something like that and she is so cute and writes ha ha all the time and made me feel that I am so serious, I still feel that publishing from my viewpoint is of value. I still haven't told anyone but my closest friends that I even have a blog.

First photo is my gang on the deck on another type of day.

Winds were high today and lots of rain, so we stayed in and played hide and go seek and trains and watched Old Bear, stories about stuffed animals who have picnics and fly up in toy airplanes to the attic to get their friends out. We love those stories. They are sweet.

Sunday Dawn- A Fog Down Comforter Hugs Angel Island

Did you know that Angel Island saved San Francisco Bay from being discovered by the Spanish for 200 years? I will post a photo of ithe island if I can or as soon as I learn how and get my Picasa going. I am looking at it now, all snuggled up in the fog blanket that creeps in from the mighty Pacific through the Golden Gate. It was an evening of cool rain here in the north bay.

The Pacific coast is treacherous and there are no ports between southern California and here and in the 1500's the Spanish ships were not taking any chances to come too close the the violent rocky shores, so when they sailed past the Golden Gate, which is pretty narrow compared to say NY harbor, they did not notice that the pyramid shaped Angel Island filled in the profile of the coast. So they missed this enormous paradise and docked in at Point Reyes and started their pillaging there. Later in the yes, 1700's someone sailed down the river and wow! discovered a huge and amazingly beautiful bay. The bay was black with seals in those days. There must have been thousands of them. The russians and spanish killed them for their skins. There are a few of them left and their faces come up out of the water and look at us with eyes of delight. In the herring season which just passed, they lay on their backs with flippers and tails up in the air and "raft up" i think it is called. Andy who is a fisherman friend says that is because they are so full of herring, they need a rest so they float along all linked up like that. It looks so funny!

So funny is a phrase my grandson Pixley uses. You have to say is soooooo funnneeeee. Like that or you don't get the right tenor. I really like the way Pix expresses himself. I will let you in on some of his better phrases and words from time to time. I will make every effort to NEVER be sappy however. I hate sentimentalism and musicals that seem to have no philosophical virtue or just plain good humor whatsoever.

Last night I went to San Rafael, pronounced Rafell around here, to see a French film called Avenue Montaigne. I loved the experience and found it safe to see for someone who chooses to close my eyes during the teasers. I don't get why everyone wants to be happy, but then insist upon watching total degredation of the human condition. It does not add up. Are we not fed fear all day in the news? And then to go PAY to be scared out of your wits while you sit in a dark theatre.......I would love to know if anyone is out there reading this could explain why that is a common practice.

Well the sun is way up over Berkeley now and I had to start this blog tonight or I was going to lose years of hard work, monitoring every thought and sentence for 5 years, to get to a point so that I am creating what I want in life. For I am an undercover metaphysician. All that baloney about wishful thinking and setting intentions and freeing yourself from negativity is true. It really works. Unless you can't think straight and are REALLY Angry and that's what I was last night. No need to go into detail, but let's say it involves alcoholism, other isms, immaturity, blame, and total lack of compassion, but as they say who's counting? I also try not to use phrases that are meaningless, rote and dumb, but sometimes dumb seems appropriate.

Am I writing too much? I have so much to say and hope that someone will read it. I think there is so much crap to read that sometimes I feel I shouldn't write anymore to add to the already overwhelming overload, but that theory got me into that angry place where I was not really expressing anything authentic of my own. So here goes, I'm going to push publish and see what happens.
Whatever you are doing for your own and the common good, keep it up.
B